I’m Here To Help

Beware the bull that gores the haystack

I feel dirty, but relieved. And, in my relief, I’ve discovered enthusiasm.

Finally, someone took a step, grabbed me by the collar, and yanked me out of a precipitous downward spiral. Continue reading

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Stupid, Drunk, and Fat — With A Smidge Of Korean Pepper Fun Sludge

My wife called me,”the walking anus of the universe.”

I’m not sure what this means, nor am I sure of why she chooses to call me “the walking anus of the universe” instead of her usual: “Self-absorbed, jerk off, butt hook.”

I sense her new description of me does not reflect well on my character. Continue reading

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The Rear Deck Express to Deathville

“Think continually how many physicians are dead after often fretting over the sick.”

I repeat this line from Marcus Aurelius as I chat with an anesthetist prior to a recent up-the-butt adventure trek at the hospital here in Siberia With a View. Continue reading

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Ready for a checkmark

I turned 70 in October, so I’m nearing the final station on the line. Soon, It’ll be time to get off.

When I exit this train, I want to know I accomplished something during the ride — something significant that allows my grandchildren to say more than, “Grandpa was a lout and a bum, and all he left me was this paint-spattered sweatshirt.” Continue reading

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